im backkkk

 so, it's been a few years... here I am. So, I actually did forget about this until the other day, but I may start using it just to dump anything I have on the ol' brain. I usually do that in my journal, so today I'm going to talk about how much journaling has helped me throughout the years. 

I honestly started journaling back in second grade, however, during elementary school I didn't journal often and it took me until eighth grade to finish my first ever journal. My childhood journal (which I no longer have) was honestly a lifeline for me during some of the worst times of middle school and late elementary school. On nights where I had been unreasonably grounded, I would journal for hours and hours as the night passed by. Feelings I couldn't tell anyone were released into my journal and left to sit until I came back to it on other nights.

In 2022, I started a tradition of starting a journal for every year. I had little faith in myself to fill an entire ACTUAL journal up in 12 months, but lo and behold, I did it. I did it again in 2023, and again in 2024, and working on my current one in 2025. All of my journals have seen me incredibly happy, paranoid, breaking down, anxious, excited, etc. etc. They have seen and heard my experiences year after year, and honestly, have helped me mellow out and become who I am today. 

For me, journaling helps me reflect and remember. Typically, I write down my experience of a time that was important or feelings that I had/have about people that I couldn't tell anyone. They helped me release thoughts and work through mental processes that I felt I could not get through on my own. One of the times this helped me the most was in 2023 when I was going through a terrible time in my personal life. I had no way to cope in a healthy manner and turned to things that hurt me in many different ways. Journaling throughout that time was rough because I was so down and depressed, however, when I did, I felt so much mental release. Once I started getting more into my journal and expressing myself not only through my entries, but through poetry and short stories, I really felt the weight lifting off of me slowly. Journaling was not a quick fix, nor will it ever be, but it did help me to be self aware, work through my problems, and remember times that were not all that bad. Journaling helped me see patterns in my own life and brain. I could see what things had triggered me in the past or how I had led myself to the same situation over and over or how I had cycles of emotions that lasted months and months. Being self aware of these things helped me to avoid them and try new ways to connect with people, maintain relationships in my life, and take care of myself.

countries i want to go to with reason

 So I don't know about ya'll but I love other cultures. They're so fascinating and yeah. A couple places I would like to go to would be Italy, South Korea, Japan, China, England, and an African country but I don't know much about any of them because I've never learned a whole bunch about Africa. So anyway lets list what I want to do at each of these countries and why. So Italy. Italy is where some of my ancestors are from y'know and all that but also the scenery there is so pretty and the food I would assume is really good. It just seems like a good place to go if you know what you're doing. Some people may disagree but I think I'd have a good time. One of the other places I'd like to go is South Korea because I mean food. Korean food is really good and I'm sure I could have a good time and make friends there. Japan. The reason I want to go to Japan is really nice with their culture and stuff. I like Japanese food but I think I'd go more for the style of their country. It's aesthetic and nice and I think I'd like it. The fourth one on this list is China. With China I think I would like it for some of the scenery but I don't know. I really love chinese food like its some of my favorite foods so that would be the reason I'd go. And now for England. I think England I would love to go to because of the style of it just everything is kind of stylish in that English way. I also like the people's accents over there so that'd be fun. Lastly, I want to go to a country in Africa because just look at the animals that live in that place. Like imagine going on a safari and boom, an elephant. It would be so fun to go on safaris, meet nice people, and just hang out y'know. Little bit of a rant right now but I don't understand why they make us learn all the countries in Europe and Asia when I know nothing about Africa. No one is just like "Oh y'know Kenya." They're like "Yeah, somewhere in Africa" Like bruh moment. I probably wouldn't have known what Africa was if I didn't study animals as a kid if I'ma be real with you. Alright, bye

People at School (rant)

 So ya'll. This is getting wild. There's this girl we'll call her "L" so "L" is this really Christian, sweet, blonde haired girl. She all up in here being a teachers pet and what not (that's not a bad thing) but when she goes and tries to be sarcastic it ends up sounding extremely rude and uncalled for. Like if you're going to say something don't try to be funny. It should come naturally. Whenever a person tries to do something forcefully it's a risk between life or death. Is it going to be able to pull it off or will it be a flop? Get it together people, for real. Anyway back to "L". So "L" used to be my friend like two years back but we stopped becoming friends because she decided she was going to spread stuff about me but I don't blame her because I was a little messed up in the head back then. But "L" didn't have to leak text messages, okay. "L" did not have to picture me as what she did because my rep died. I've made a comeback since then but not really. If "L" decided to be my friend no matter what then we'd still be friends. Honestly she was a cool person but like she decided to ignore me almost all the time so that's not really fun. She thinks she's all that but I mean is she? No hate towards her but dang. Get some social skills and maybe we'll talk. Also there is a couple other people I want to talk about but not specifically. So, boys who act like they something need to get it together. Like you ain't nothing. You're in middle school and don't have any purpose except to make fun of people and try to get a girlfriend. What kind of adult are you striving to be? The majority of people honestly are like sheep. They follow their little leader no matter what. But they can also be like lions where they all team up and do the same thing and attack. Students are the worst about this kind of stuff. They target someone and attack without any thought. People need to start thinking and when I say thinking I don't mean like thinking about what you're going to do when you get home, I mean thinking as in thinking about your actions, how it effects others, and what you can do to make someone or yourself's life better. Think of yourself and others and make a balance. What I'm trying to say is get some social skills and start trying to think more.